They Relied on Each Other

What the Carolina Hurricanes Taught Me About Trust, Connection, and Why Relationships Matter

Trust is easy when things are going well. The real test comes when mistakes happen, grief enters the picture, injuries pile up, or the outcome is uncertain.

As I watched the Carolina Hurricanes this season, I found myself thinking about that truth both as a fan and as a therapist.

What stood out wasn’t just the speed of the game, the goals, or even the wins. It was the way the players seemed to respond to one another. The trust. The support after mistakes. The way they showed up for each other through personal loss and adversity.

The deeper into the season and playoffs they went, the more I realized I wasn’t just watching a talented hockey team.

I was watching what connection looks like in action.

My husband and I have been fortunate enough to attend several Hurricanes games over the years, including a playoff game against the Flyers—a team that once held my loyalty before I became a Canes fan. Hockey has always been exciting to watch, but this season felt different.

Hockey is one of the fastest sports there is. The puck moves in an instant. Players jump on and off the ice in rapid shifts. Decisions have to be made before there’s time to consciously think them through. Yet somehow, the Canes often seemed to know exactly where each other would be. Passes connected almost effortlessly. Players adjusted without hesitation. They played like a group of people who genuinely trusted one another.

The more I watched, the more I found myself viewing the team through the lens of Polyvagal Theory and co-regulation.

As therapists, we often talk about how people do their best when they feel safe, seen, accepted, and supported. While professional hockey and therapy may seem worlds apart, I saw many of those same principles playing out on the ice throughout the season.

One moment that stood out involved a defenseman who accidentally scored on his own team. Think about that for a moment. At the highest level of the sport, on one of the biggest stages imaginable, he made a mistake that directly helped the other team.

Yet that wasn’t the end of his story.

He wasn’t cast aside. He wasn’t benched. He wasn’t treated as though one mistake defined him. He continued to play. His teammates continued to trust him. And at the end of the season, he stood alongside them holding the Stanley Cup.

Healthy teams understand something important: mistakes happen. What matters is how we respond to them.

In therapy, we know that growth rarely happens when people are shamed for their mistakes. It happens when they are supported through them. When people know they still belong, even when they get it wrong.

Another story that caught my attention involved a player who lost his agent and mentor to suicide during the playoffs. In the middle of pursuing the biggest goal of his professional career, he was carrying an unimaginable personal loss.

What stood out to me wasn’t just the tragedy itself. It was how the team responded.

From the outside looking in, there seemed to be a genuine effort to honor what he was going through and support him through it. His teammates understood that while hockey was important, they were also human beings navigating life together.

Co-regulation isn’t about fixing someone’s pain. It’s about helping them carry it. It’s about creating relationships where people don’t have to face difficult moments alone.

Then there was the goalie who stepped into a larger role when the team needed him. He was undrafted. By many standards, he wasn’t supposed to be the one carrying a team through crucial playoff moments.

When he talked about his coach, something he said stuck with me.

He didn’t talk about statistics.

He didn’t talk about scouting reports.

He didn’t talk about save percentages.

He said his coach believed in him.

Not his numbers.

Not his performance.

Him.

As a therapist, that resonated deeply.

Many of the people who walk through our doors have spent years being evaluated, criticized, compared, or misunderstood. Sometimes what creates change isn’t a new technique or strategy. Sometimes it’s the experience of having someone believe in them before they fully believe in themselves.

I don’t know exactly how much of this culture comes from the coaching staff, but it’s hard to imagine leadership isn’t part of the equation. Coaches help create the conditions where trust can grow. They set the tone for how mistakes are handled, how people are supported, and how individuals become part of something larger than themselves.

Sports fans often talk about talent, systems, and strategy. Those things matter.

But relationships matter too.

Trust matters.

Connection matters.

The ability to adjust when circumstances change matters.

The ability to recover from mistakes matters.

The ability to support one another through grief, disappointment, pressure, and uncertainty matters.

When I watched the Hurricanes this season, I saw all of those things.

I saw players who seemed to know where each other would be before the puck arrived. I saw teammates supporting one another through difficult moments. I saw people being trusted after mistakes and believed in despite long odds.

I saw a team.

Looking back, I don’t think that was separate from their success.

I think it was their success.

Not because one superstar carried them there. In fact, one of the things I appreciated most was how many different players contributed throughout the season and playoffs. Goals came from across the roster. Defensemen scored. Different players stepped up when the moment called for it. They adapted to injuries, setbacks, and changing circumstances. They didn’t rely on one person to save them.

They relied on each other.

As someone who spends her days helping children, adults, and families understand the importance of connection and regulation, I couldn’t help but appreciate what I was seeing.

A Stanley Cup may be awarded to a hockey team, but championships are built on relationships.

So congratulations to the Carolina Hurricanes.

Thank you for a season that kept me cheering, celebrating, and occasionally holding my breath.

I’ll admit there were moments when I worried. Watching Vegas eliminate a powerhouse Colorado team got my attention. Game 1 against Vegas certainly didn’t calm my nerves. There were stretches where the road ahead looked much steeper than I wanted it to.

But worry and belief aren’t the same thing.

What impressed me most was how this team continued to trust one another, adapt, and respond when challenges arose. They never seemed to lose sight of who they were.

I hope the players, coaches, staff, and families enjoy a well-earned offseason filled with rest, connection, and time with the people who matter most.

I’ll be looking forward to next season.

After all, every great team starts with people who know they don’t have to do hard things alone.

And maybe that’s the lesson beyond hockey. When people feel supported, trusted, and connected, they can weather mistakes, losses, setbacks, and challenges that might otherwise overwhelm them. Their Owl stays online. They can think, adapt, learn, and respond rather than react.

Whether you’re raising a child, helping a client heal, leading a team, or chasing a Stanley Cup, connection matters.