From Adoptive Parent to VAMFT President Elect: Why Relationships Are Foundational to Healing

I’m honored to share that I’ve been elected President-Elect of the Virginia Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (VAMFT).

Many people assume I became a Marriage and Family Therapist because I wanted to work with couples.

I didn’t.

I became an MFT because I wanted to help adoptive families.

As an adoptive parent myself, I knew the challenges rarely belonged to one person. They lived in the relationships between parents and children, between siblings, within family histories, and in the many experiences that shaped each person’s nervous system and view of the world.

When I entered my graduate program, I realized I’d found my professional home. I naturally thought systemically. Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with this person?” I found myself asking, “What has shaped this person, and how are the relationships around them influencing what’s happening now?”

Over the years, that perspective has expanded far beyond adoption. It has influenced the way I work with children, adults, couples, families, supervise clinicians, teach, and continue learning. The more experience I gain, the more convinced I become that understanding relationships isn’t just helpful—it’s foundational.

I’ve also discovered that some of the most systemic clinicians I know aren’t Marriage and Family Therapists. They come from counseling, social work, psychology, occupational therapy, medicine, education, and many other disciplines. They naturally think about relationships, context, and connection, yet they don’t always feel like there’s a professional community that fully reflects that way of seeing people.

One of my hopes as President-Elect is to help VAMFT continue to be a place where relationship-oriented clinicians feel welcomed and supported. While we remain proudly rooted in the identity of marriage and family therapy, I hope we’re also known as a community that values anyone who believes healing happens in relationship.

I’m grateful for the trust my colleagues have placed in me, and I’m excited for the opportunity to serve this profession that has given me so much.

Here’s to the work ahead.